


The Moments Before Alois Got Punched and/or Punished for Pun Crimes

by RoundPi



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Gen, just puns, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:20:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21764413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoundPi/pseuds/RoundPi
Summary: It’s Alois, but punnier.
Kudos: 5





	The Moments Before Alois Got Punched and/or Punished for Pun Crimes

We leave those against us slithering in the dark.

You say “It’s bizarre.” I say “It’s cy-reel”.

I just got this from the market the other day. It’s a flayn-nel shirt.

Lady Seiros isn’t such a rhe-a sunshine after all.

I see, your birthday would definitely be on the seteth-teenth.

The only time I had a Sick Day is when I was aloi-wheezing all day.

You should expect to succeed, naught-fail.

I knocked out eight of de guards.

I will now announce the winner of the White Heron Cup: Ignatz is the Victor.

What do you call a dimitive tree? Dimitree. (Dimitri: “What do you call a tree that grows meat? It’s di meat tree.”)

You’re not a fraud if you’re Claude, but a god if you’re Claude.

Can you at least carry the supplies up da-Hill?

The chair is by your leth.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Doorthea? Doorte? (Bernadetta: “I’ll burn-a-dead you in a fire.”)

He goes by the name Ferdie-and Ferdinand. (Ferd: “I am Ferdinand von Aegir.”) Try not to bring out his Ferdinand von Ire.

No Caspar, you may not spar with the cat.

I could make the Those Who Ly-slither in the Dark joke. But is it too insensitive? Making this decision is quite the Ordeal.

All of Lonato’s dreams have fallen to Ashe… -is what I wanted to say but Lonato left no will.

“Call me Mercie” Mercie said des.

If you marry Dedue, you are obligated to say “I de-due”, or at least “I de-due not”.

Psst… Gilbert, tell them about the net. (“Sigh…. my wife and I couldn’t come up with a name for our daughter. I look around and found a net. I’m ending the story here.”)

Felix, there’s this thing called felings.

Sylvain, all this learning will be in vain if you don’t apply them.

Hanneman! My right-hand man!

You doing wella, Manuela?

Doesn’t it bother you that Saint Maculi is not the Immaculate One? (Mr. Big Turtle: “Such trivialities do not bother me. If you like, you may call me the Indented One.”)

So long! Solon!  
Randolph should have Ran away. No really, he should. …Cause Demontree. Okay, I’m done now.

(“So this is how it ends...”) Ha! I get it! So-this is your sense of humor. (“I swear, Alois, if your puns are the last thing I hear, I’ll fricken haunt you.”)

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any noteworthy puns, feel free to type into that rectangle below and click comment. Or just send in some random serotonin via Kudos.


End file.
